Female pop stars and nudity have gone hand in hand for centuries, dating all the way back to Renaissance musician Joan Demuuf, whose single ‘Leonarda da Vinc-Me’ went platinum after she flashed some ankle in a Florence courtyard. 2013 in particular has been rife with pop musicians baring all in public forums, adding fuel to the ongoing debate of feminist empowerment versus hyper-sexualisation for attention. Not everyone’s happy about the current level of nips, bits, butts and fronts being displayed by the likes of Gaga and RiRi recently, so in order for you to make an informed, moral decision either way we have collected the top nude moments in music for 2013.
NB: Note that the below contains zero instances of male pop stars sans clothes. As an ardent supporter of equality, I for one am appalled at the complete lack of peen slips and/or man-butt in the contemporary music sphere. Get it together/undone dudes! I’m looking at you One Direction… late at night when I’m all alone… ahem.
Lady Gaga goes Full Gaga
Lady Gaga can’t seem to make her mind up on whether she wants you to see absolutely nothing, say when she dons a full body chicken nugget suit, or whether she wants you to see errrrryything, such as her recent surprise performance at London Nightclub G-A-Y where she proudly showed off her birthday suit/barked up a lot of wrong trees. It seems LG feels like she needs to outdo her pop-colleagues in getting their gear off and this move seems to be the finale in a culmination of a year’s worth of skin flashing and puts her as frontrunner in Award for Most Naked.
Katy Perry SAYS NO
Suddenly, COUNTERPOINT! In a recent interview with an American radio station, Katy Perry entered the dialogue stating, “I mean everybody’s so naked. We know you’ve got it, I’ve got it too… I’m not necessarily judging, I’m just thinking sometimes it’s nice to play that card, but sometimes it’s nice to play other cards.” Sure Katy has shown off her bod previously but she appears to have had a minor epiphany and has gone all prude on us. Hopefully this doesn’t mean she will end her reign of shooting fireworks and confectionary out of her chest, because who doesn’t love that?
Snakes on a Rihanna
Never one to shy away from getting all nude-like in her music videos/most places, Rihanna joined the completely starkers brigade with a recent shoot for GQ magazine, appearing with nought but a large snake as clothing. Channelling the mythical Greek monster Medusa, Rih and her perfectly placed boa grace the cover of the 25th Anniversary edition and, depending on your level of Ophidiophobia (fear of snakes), is either sexy as hell or NOOOOOOOPE.
Speaking of things that slither around in no clothes and often have their tongue sticking out, we move to young Miss Cyrus. Where would 2013 be without you, Miley? From near nudity at a music awards ceremony to full-blown in her music video for ‘Wrecking Ball’, ex-Hannah Montana has spent most of this year in some state of undress. Despite receiving plenty of flack ranging from tut-tutting to accusations of bringing in the sexpocalyspe, Miley herself has been fairly composed and articulate in her reaction to the controversy, assuring everyone she’s very much in control of her liberating new image. I’m more worried about her sexual attraction to hardware to be honest. I lost a family member to a naked wrecking ball accident.
Nicki Minaj #Pasties #Nips
There’s nothing new about pop stars ‘gramming some selfies, it gives us lesser folk brief insights into their daily duckfaces and I, for one, am a big fan. Nicki Minaj however, isn’t content with simple neck-up self-shots with her latest string of Instagrams featuring ample amount of full frontal boobage. She’s a classy lass though, so don’t worry about eyeballing any areola, with strategically placed hair or leopard-print pasties always maintaining her lady-like decorum.
“The nice thing about that place is Beyonce gets in the hammock with you!”
“Oh kewl topless photos Nicki, excuse me while I continue to be the best at everything and get nakey in this hammock” – Beyonce, probably. Queen Bey entered the Naked Games with this shot posted on her Tumblr featuring herself tanning those hard to reach spots in South America. Carefully hiding the rude bits and looking appropriately glamorous in nothing but a weird gold hand bracelet thing, Mrs Carter reminds the world that she will always be better then everyone, ever.
Okay I Lied
I know I said above there were zero dude pics but well… this is the closest we’re going to get, so in the name of gender equality:
– Mitch Feltscheer